Getting it right
by Sheram
Summary: Catherine is having a hard time concentrating on work.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything! All rights are reserved to CSI and CBS. **

**I'm new at this, so be kind :-)  
**

Catherine Willows slammed her fist against her locker room door!

"How could I have been so stupid?"

She and Sara Sidle her co-worker of 3 years had just had one of their famous arguments in the locker room, Sara had been screaming at her, cornering her against the wall, totally invading Catherine's personal space, and suddenly Catherine had completely lost track of the argument. She had an overwhelming need to taste those lips so very close to her just for a moment. And suddenly she had crashed her lips against Sara's. For just one second the world stopped turning for Catherine Willows and she was in absolute heaven until reality suddenly hit. She was kissing Sarah Sidle in the locker room and by the feel of it Sara wasn't enjoying it as much as Catherine. Actually Sara wasn't responding at all and stood absolutely still. Catherine pulled away with lightning speed

"Shit Sara, shit, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, I don't know what came over me, I don't even like you that much!"

She couldn't look at Sara, she couldn't bear to see the look of pure disgust she was sure Sara would be giving her. She steeled herself for the moment when Sara would start screaming at her again. But nothing came Catherine looked up and before Sara turned and stormed out, she was sure, she saw hurt in those beautiful brown eyes.

Catherine felt more alone than she had ever felt before

"_how could I have completely lost control like __that? Not only does she think I am a complete lunatic for kissing her but she probably thinks I'm some kind of pervert, sexually harassing my straight younger co-worker in the work place" Definitely not your best move Willows!" "I have totally blown it!"_

Catherine had actually felt that they were beginning to form some kind of fragile friendship ever since she had taken Sara out for that beer after the Hank incident. Sara had opened up a little and after a few beers she had even started to smile that lovely gab toothed smile of hers, somewhere in the middle of beer number four or five Catherine had found herself having a hard time concentrating on what Sara was talking about and focusing more on how beautiful her smile where and wondering how soft those lips would feel like against her own. This had scared the shit out of her, and when she saw Sara having a hard time keeping her eyes open, she had called it a night. When they stood outside the bar waiting for a cab, Catherine couldn't keep her self from stealing glances at this beautiful woman. It wasn't as if Catherine didn't already know that Sara was a beautiful woman but something profound had shifted inside of her and lately Sara had been on her mind constantly. All these years she had kept Sara at arms length in the beginning she had felt threatened by this young brilliant woman who had entered her territory, but that night she had finally realised that perhaps there was more to it, than that.

That day when she had gone to bed, she couldn't get the image of Sara's lovely smile out of her head…

Sara's hands were all over her, while kissing every inch of her body, Catherine was chanting Sara's name and she was getting closer and closer.

"Sara please…, oh God yesss…"

Suddenly she woke shocked and seriously turned on.

"_What the Hell__?! Did I just have a sex dream about Sara Sidle??"_

After a cold shower Catherine felt a little better, did she have the hots for her straight female co-worker? She had had crushes on women before and she had always seen herself as a bisexual woman but having the hots for Sara was serious problem, this was a woman she worked with, she had to be careful and hope these feelings would pass without anybody knowing about her predicament, most off all Sara.

The next few weeks, Catherine was in her own private hell! She noticed everything about Sara, what she wore, how her ass looked in her jeans, how her tank top clung to that sexy toned body, her smile, the look she would get when she was focused on a piece of evidence, how her eyes would light up when Grissom complimented her on a job well done and how uncomfortable she would get every time Catherine were near her. A few times Catherine couldn't stop herself when they were talking about a case and had touched her arm or shoulder to make a point and every time Sara had cringed or shied away from her touch. Catherine always removed her hand quickly and went on with their conversation as if nothing had happened but inside she felt like daggers were piercing her heart.

The dreaming had gotten more and more intense and Sara had become an obsession, she even caught herself daydreaming in her office and once at a staff meeting, Warrick had to kick her under the table before she found out that Grissom had asked her a question about a case twice and she was just starring out in space.

Greg had then said:

"Hello earth to Catherine, what are you in "luve" or something?"

Catherine had then turned several shades of purple and had mumbled something incoherent! The entire team but Sara and Grissom had laughed and made fun of her the whole shift. Sara had seemed even more uncomfortable around her and Grissom was completely oblivious.

She didn't really know how strong her feelings where, she was obviously attracted to Sara and she did think about her a lot but _"Was she in love with Sarah? – God she hoped not! But the evidence sure pointed in that direction!"_

And now 4 weeks later as she stood in that locker room her fist hurting like hell and feeling like her heart had just shattered in a million pieces, she knew she was in serious trouble!

The mature thing to do would be to find Sara and give her some kind of explanation for why she had just kissed her, but she really didn't feel mature right now and how was she ever going to explain this? She just wanted to go home climb in to bed and never leave her house again. She couldn't face Sara or the rest of the team who probably all knew about her insane behaviour by now. So she went home sat in the darkness of her living room and drank an entire bottle of red wine and fell asleep on the couch while feeling extremely sorry for herself.

When she woke a few hours later, she felt even worse, she had a hangover and she looked like she hadn't slept for days. But the worst thing was it was time for work and she really didn't want to face Sara!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sara sat in her car with absolutely drained of energy; 30 minutes ago Catherine had kissed her in the locker room! That kiss had been the surprise of the century.

Thinking about the last few weeks after Catherine had asked her out for a drink to take her mind of her latest mistake - this one called Hank. She had begun to realise that perhaps Catherine Willows wasn't the arrogant, self absorbed, irritating, obnoxious, evil queen bitch of the universe. Actually very strange feelings had been invading her body every time she was near Catherine and she had been having very inappropriate thoughts about her female co-worker. Sara had always thought that Catherine was a beautiful woman, but these feelings were more than appreciating the beauty of a fellow co-worker. She had noticed that Catherine had changed these last couple of weeks she seemed distant and preoccupied with something, the guys thought that she had met a new guy and wasn't telling, that day in the meeting room when Greg had teased her and said she was in love. Catherine looked almost panicky, Sara knew it was true. And suddenly she felt her whole world collapsing around her. "_Why was this affecting her like this, could it be that she had feelings for Catherine?"_

Every time Catherine had touched her when making a point or accidentally brushed up a long site of her when they were working a scene, what felt like electricity had run through Sara's body, and she was terrified that Catherine could sense it. She couldn't look at Catherine when they were discussing a case, afraid that she would get lost in those blue eyes and make a huge ass of herself in the process.

But yesterday it had all gotten too much for Sara and when Catherine had disagreed with her about a case. Sara had completely overreacted sending them into one of their famous arguments starting in the hall way and this one ending in the locker room. She remembered that she had advanced on Catherine totally invading her personal space and suddenly Catherine seemed to lose track of the argument. All of a sudden Sara felt soft lips on her own and she froze. The kiss although very brief had steered deep feelings inside of Sara. Firstly, disbelief that it was actually happening, then amazement and then finally a feeling of absolute bliss and belonging and then abruptly it was over. And before she could think clearly, Catherine had apologised profusely and then the ultimate blow "I don't even like you that much!"

The horrible realisation, that she was in love with Catherine Willows dawned on her. If she sat very still she could almost hear the sound of her heart breaking. _"Sara Sidle you fool, being in love with the world's straightest woman is just sooo stupid"_. She couldn't risk anybody seeing her this broken, so she started the car and drove out of the parking lot. She had a six pack in the fridge and her pack of "open only if the world is coming to an end" cigarettes - it had to do.

Seeing Catherine in the morning would be absolute torture.

The next day Catherine was running late, the team was already in the meeting room and Grissom was handing out assignments.

"_Play it cool Catherine, just don't look at her!"_

Grissom looked over his glasses "Catherine, how good of you to come! You and Sara have a DB in the dessert"

_Nooo why today of all days!! Shit, shit!_

Everybody else left the meeting room and it was only Catherine and Sara left and the silence was deafening.

_Okay time to take the bull by the horns_! "Look Sara about yesterday!"

Catherine locked eyes with Sara and she completely forgot what she was saying, Sara looked broken and extremely uncomfortable, actually she looked as bad as Catherine felt.

"Sara I don't know what came over me, I completely lost my mind, I didn't get much sleep the night before and .. I… I think it was stress.. I.. I'm sorry it won't happen again I promise!"

"_That's g__reat Catherine real eloquent! She is really going to believe that stress and sleep deprivation is a good explanation for kissing a co-worker in the locker room in that case the entire grave yard shift should be walking around with a smile on their face!_"

Sara got up from her chair and fidgeted with the hem of her blouse.

"Look Catherine I eh, this is awkward okay, so can we not talk about it again, I mean it didn't really matter to me, you apologised, so lets just leave it ok?"

Sara left the room and Catherine suddenly felt small and alone.

"_Great Catherine you have completely embarrassed her and what small hope you had of her having some kind of feelings for you are know completely shattered"_

Sara was back in the parking lot waiting for Catherine to join her in the Denali.

"_So I lied, told her the kiss didn't matter. She is properly relieved that I'm not going to bring this to Eckli__e or something like that. Anyway I can do this play it cool and pray to God that some divine intervention will wipe away the memory of her soft lips against mine"_

But as soon as Sara saw Catherine coming towards the car her heart started to pound and she felt light headed. _"Be cool, just be cool woman"._

The drive to the scene was awkward to say the least, Catherine was looking out of the passenger seat window like her life depended on it and Sara's hands had a vice grip on the steering wheel. Both women wanted to say something, anything to lesson the awkward silence, but they were both too heartbroken and out of it to think of anything remotely intelligent to say.

Finally they got to the scene and Catherine more or less bolted out of the car, got her gear and all but ran up to the young cop standing a few feet away from a body lying face down in the sand. _"Work, this she could do, this was safe!"_

The cop informed her about what he knew about the body, which wasn't much and proceeded to call her "Maam" a few times, which she always hated making her feel older than she was. He even had the audacity to give Sara a flirty smile and a wink. And Sara smiled back, Catherine felt like slapping him, but she had already violated a co-worker yesterday, slapping an officer today properly wouldn't look good on her record. _"Get it together Willows, she is not yours anyway". _


End file.
